closing : pain never truly closes, never really ends.
When Barbara left me and I became a Christian, I became focused on one thing: her getting saved and coming back to us, to me .
As time moved forward, my focus changed: she wasn’t coming back, so her damnation was now my focus, my prayer.
I searched the scriptures for verses that could prayerfully assist my focus. I found a key verse , the first one I memorised, Proverbs 28:9
‘ If anyone turns a deaf ear to the law, even their prayers are detestable.’
I prayed this verse.
It felt wrong.
I went to Keith , our marriage counsellor, and asked, shouldn’t she come back to me ? If she comes to God, shouldn’t she ask my forgiveness?
Keith’s response: she lied to you and to me during our counselling. She should come back to us both and ask for forgiveness. But she doesn’t have to.
The only one she has to come to is Him, God. She needs to ask Him.
Keith’s response freed me from the ‘Unforgiven’ and my own damnation, here, on earth.
I pray she comes to Him; not me.