my hero

our-Priscilla and my dear dear her/friend #2 and hero is …is Pat Ciminera my second and very personal hero. Why ?

Pat had an aggressive bowel cancer. Unusually, she was a close friend to both Priscilla and I and navigated the gender friendships skilfully.

When she was diagnosed with cancer, as a friend, I asked her

‘What could I can I do?’ For you?’
She responded,
‘The only thing I ask of you is do, please speak at at my memorial/funeral/celebration service.’ Please do all for me.
My heart sank.

Love. Yes.
Speak at your funeral? When I am a wreck? Crying?

No. No No.

I looked her in the eye and said, ‘yes.’

No one
No one can love I you more than a dear friend who gives you, who asks you, a big ‘Ask’ and can never return the request. No one.
‘My hero.'(from Betty Boop American Cartoon)

Love u Pat


3 thoughts on “my hero

  1. Thanks Charlie for reminding me of Pat. She was very encouraging and helpful to us, even though we didn’t know her well. As I recall, she had a special soft spot in her soft heart for our son, David, whom she knew as a little boy. When he needed stitches in his forehead after falling onto a window ledge, Pat insisted we get him to Columbia Hospital so that she could do the difficult procedure. That had to be hard for her in ways we can’t imagine, but it was a beautiful expression of her love and generosity.

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