where am I today? spiritually, psalm 142,

David’s Prayer—When He Was in the Cave

142 1-2 I cry out loudly to God,
loudly I plead with God for mercy.
I spill out all my complaints before him,
and spell out my troubles in detail:
3-7 “As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away,
you know how I’m feeling,
Know the danger I’m in,
the traps hidden in my path.
Look right, look left—
there’s not a soul who cares what happens!
I’m up against it, with no exit—
bereft, left alone.
I cry out, God, call out:
‘You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!’
Oh listen, please listen;
I’ve never been this low.
Rescue me from those who are hunting me down;
I’m no match for them.
Get me out of this dungeon
so I can thank you in public.
Your people will form a circle around me
and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!”

I form my own cave. A place, a dark place, I can’t see in. I can only hear, and all I hear is my own voice, my own cries: resentments, self – pities, these I cry.

These cries form my dearkness,

my cave, my voice echos in this, my cave.

designed by myself; with only my voice

my sounds,

isolated, so I only hear myself, not my other, my God, my friend. step, step not into a circle of friends, step 11 is a sitting;

sit not step, sit, listen as

I step from my cave, sitting