thoughts on listening

If I think about listening, am I really listening? I think not. However, so, here are some notes from a seminar I co-lead in the UK (with Fiona) about listening. I listened to others; take notes from there words (and later myself) and captured them here-but without my thoughts after. These notes have been captured from their immediate listening moments.

Listening seminar notes September 2014
Theses notes are in bullet form with a summary/analysis at the end of the document:
Questions asked:
• How do you feel when someone says to you ‘I know how you feel?’
• Possible exercise to practice listening? Ask yourself: what are you hearing right now (when sitting in a room) siting a tube?
• What are you listening to?
• If you are not listened to, how do you feel?
• If you are listened to, how do you feel?
• How do you know when someone is listening to you?
• How do you feel when you are interrupted?
• What makes good listening?
• What makes poor listening?
• How do people learn to speak? As they are spoken to.
• How do people learn to listen? As they are listened to.
Quotes and Listening Seminar thoughts

• ‘I was stuck by how much I wanted to interrupt/respond.’
• I didn’t know fully when I started to speak where I was going.’ Therefore, if we interrupt to comment/respond then the speaker’s flow is changed
• Mirror back, reflect back to the speaker what they said.
• Don’t offer ‘solutions’ or fixes. Just listen
• Watch speaker’s body language and yours
• Don’t do other tasks when listening. I.e. phone; email… Scott Peck ’you cannot truly listen to anyone while doing something else.
• Hearing is passive, happens all the time. Listening is active; you have to work at it; be conscious of it
• “If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.” Mark Twain

Summary: What makes good listening?

• Intentionality
• Active/good listening is about listening to understand the speaker
• keep eye contact
• Mirror back what they have said to you in a summary type form
• When people speak, listen emotionally, intellectually-completely-perhaps pray for them at moments you are moved as you listen for understanding

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Thoughts2

this is the first draft of a poem I am working on-a second take is at http://www.charlesosewalt.com

from Debroah Warner

At the end of the day

…it is you in the corner
Tree, stage
preformed, perform
with colour, intensity
passion

what is this character about?
Practice twenty times; then lose it

lose it
Repetition, a title, means change in tone hue colour Colour develops through nuanced repetition

Artists create communities of practice
Share leading edge if techniques bring emotions out of emotions

Musicians worship themselves or their instruments Your work space is your work worship station

work, worship