Ellice&Jeff 13 February, a marriage

Ellice and Jeff engaged

for jeff&ellice; on the occasion of their wedding 13th february 2021
This prayer comes the principles of Romans 12 version of The Message. From Paul, speaking by the spirit to a new community,
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.
Lord, have Ellice and Jeff’s embraces this day and all embraces going forward be with your hands and theirs joined together as one. Allow their love to be fuelled daily by yours; their touch of others be by your spirit; bless the day as the first of many love offerings, many days of love, for each other, for friends and families and for you Lord Jesus.
Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Ellice, Jeff, as your lives daily grow and develop, embrace your changes, individually, together and in your shared communities. From Mexico to Brooklyn; from Wisconsin and Iowa; from Colorado to California; – love ‘quickly’ with all His power working alongside and with all your gifts. Love from the centre of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

Play ‘second fiddle’ – jeff love ellice as our Lord loves his church; ellice honour, respect jeff as Christ’s personal gift to you.

Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, … pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. 

In love, in your love jeff, ellice, weep with those who weep; rejoice with those in joy. Feel others always.

Finally, as you have both lived by the generous Spirit in the past, continue to do so sacrificially in all your future coming ‘today’s’ 

Discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. 

Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness.

Jeff, Ellice may generous love infuse you from your joined new life. Blessed be your love.

Blessed be Jeff and Ellice.

it is

so, so perfect to end my life ( 67 ) with

no thing

I began it so as a foundling, a disgusted

twin, alone without a mate,

and today, i

end as

lonely, as a

Alone

divorce

how I remember

not eating, driving my car – an orange VW bug – and slowing the semi automatic shift so I can vomit, a dry heave, out a passenger door

I was sick, sick at hearts and fingers; soul and mind

I could not forget

before, a counsellor’s lament, 6

I imagine she loved me, working at Bloomingdales, strawberry sweater, yellow cheese sandwich, lying on Cathy Richardson’s oak floor at a Christmas party ( her mom was a soap tv opera actress, Cathy was blonde

barbara was latte; she practiced writing our names together, initials ‘bo’ – as opposed to her present ‘bm’

what was my before, I imagined and I imagine now

I will always love you

I need, want, desire you

or later,

I will never hurt you as she, Barbara ( only more )

or, I don’t love you enough to do that or,

I will always be there for you, physically, emotionally, spiritually ( only less )

less, less than before

if I could only, only escape a moment, this moment of my memory I could

stop putting me hand, my right fingers, into the warm open faced grilled cheese sandwich Cathy gave me while I lay on her floor as Barbara stepped on my chest; bringing out to her smile, her ‘hi’

I want to be, be before, all

counsellor’s lament 5, Boxing Day

so, how has the holiday been for you?

– church is speaking on Advent, I have this all before, what new can I hear be said about Jesus’ birth ?

we are holding out from applying for Social Security till I am at least 65 and Rick 67 – though we need the money – it is better to wait for more money and ever since the church fall out and our leaving the family doesn’t all get together any more –

we have people but it wasn’t isn’t like when my parents were alive it do just not the same not the same

I can’t get hired; probably people think at 61 I am too old

I just want peace- no one gives Trump any credit – Cuomo and DiBaliso is killing NYC

I can’t sleep nights

the counsellor’s lament unsaid: a prophetess is without honour in her own heart’s home

listen to yourself, deeply, listen

counsellor’s lament, 3

a lotus, a sacred lotus

here is what I can’t, what I say in our times together-

love is a, a lotus, a sacred lotus, flowers a risk to touch and see, to smell and to, to feel, everyday, in your heart, you should ask your other, to marry, each day to keep your love, your individual love for your other, fresh and green as a lotus that forms in deep, rich mud, for centuries as a seed, love should be a lotus seed drenched in a cover of your thoughts, feelings, pains and hope filled desires,

shared, expressed, voiced, even in silences silences speak, when shared, but … but isolated, you both will die as a yellow lotus bloom without the mud that enriches it each day

‘So, if you are no longer love each other, …

‘No, she never really loved me.’

‘Then, let’s discuss why you feel that way in an individual session next week first, before we meet together again? – Okay?’

maybe they will stop coming , stop talking, – please stop