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leftovers,

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a close, close friend who had a spouse deeply betray them after almost 50 years of marriage, only, ( on most days ) eats only leftovers at night for dinners…

I ‘tease’ them about this, when we talk but today, I have realised, I have been ‘fed’ left overs all my ‘left’ my life ..,

from a sister ( Susanne or Susan – I can’t quite keep up with her names ) who kept all the family ‘jewels’ for herself to a twin brother who could not talk to me for 8 plus years to unloving children and an unfaithful wife, who I loved so…

I have had ‘leftovers’ all my life

left, left,

light… ( a thought )

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light… ( a thought )

light…
a thought, first from 
Psalm 97:11, ( with footnote) Light shines[a] on the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.Psalm 97:11 [a] from a Hebrew manuscript and other ancient versions (see also Psalm 112:4); … in most Hebrew manuscripts ‘Light’ is sown and in, Psalm 97: 4 ‘ Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous. 5 Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,who conduct their affairs with justice.’


The images here are all about light; light that dawns; light that sows, that plants, as a heart that enriches, that seeds. Light in these Psalms is something that holds and lifts.
It is a generous gift from the Lord. Light lives as one of his greatest gifts. Thus, 
‘ I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me,
for I have redeemed you.” – Isaiah 44:22

In His word, His Light, His life, all darkness and mists are swept away. Only His Light remains.

from Cold Mountain…

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a response to those who hurt, scared, abused, lied …


“What you have lost will not be returned to you; it always be lost. You’re left with only your scars to mark the void. All you can choose to do is go on, or not. But if you go on, it’s knowing you carry your scars with you.”

in Florida I ..

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… see sad, sad, woman – women with

baby carriages ( McLaren ? )

– their very, hearts, in the form of of a qu.,,

…ite quite small dog, so –

– very,

small animals, in a baby their, hers,

McLaren stroller…

but, – stroll – we packed all going overseas, all, but..

not the McLaren

together, we

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together, we

cry with worries, disappointments,

together we, kiss, touch cleanly, kiss again

we, together fail each other, family, again&again, 2 ..to our own Gethsemanes

wetogether … two together, we have gathered, and now, we must scatter …

loses, treasures, memories… all are

together

a lake

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by the lake

here, by our small small calm lake: without children or dogs or memories or Priscilla, I sit by a sign : ‘do not feed the alligators’

my memories; my gifted silences, I must see but not abide with; touch, but do not hold; listen, hear but not repeat

never relive; never repeat… just sit, by a lake