in August, 1980

we were engaged, but you had doubts: I was divorced; 5 years younger than you; you had systemic lupus…

so when Sean’s, your nephew’s christening came in august, you disinvited me…

so I ran, thinking, it was over- you and me …

but then you showed at my McGraw Avenue flat and came in,

you opened yourself, I accepted

and all ended

so,

you knew I was never, ever…

loved, by a mother who gave me up at birth,

by a father, as i rescued him at death, who said ‘I love be you’ as a brother, and sister, never asked, ( but they were both silent: silence is their weapon )

so, twin brother, sister, you lived, as I ..,