to forgive,

the essential question: where, when, does forgiveness begin? And when is an offended, hurt person to let go – let go of hurts, to forgive, even if they are never asked or approached by the offender?

I, sadly, have had many people hurt me and never asked for anything, any forgiving, from myself: spouses; pastors; friends; family … in sorrows, it is a long line. And I am on it with at least one person I hurt horribly.

So, where and when does forgiveness begins?

I personally believe the desire for forgiveness only stops when the offending person makes amends, approaches and asks the hurting party if they can speak together, listen together. Forgive face to face; heart to heart.

They may not be able to ‘ make it right’ but they can in ‘humility’ the offender can listen and ask for forgiveness.

This ‘how to’ stance of listening and being humble is an essential first step.

This is the Lord’s Prayer,

I see the Lord’s Prayer shows this step, forgive as you desire to be forgiven

I believe that if another comes to me, makes the step, to say I have hurt them; then I listen and try to ask for forgiveness as much as I can ‘amend’- but they have to come.

I have tired to find the person I failed but have not been able too. But I will keep stepping; trying; praying.

And if those who hurt me never come? Daily, moment by moment, I forgive them. By name… prayerfully

And writing about it

, helps


32, steps 8&9, from Wassie

Below is the second in reflective meditations on steps 8&9 from my dear friend Wassie,

‘Dear Charles, Namaste! Hearing the voice of recovery provides us the awareness that “we give away our peace of mind and serenity when we allow other people to control us through the resentment we have toward them.” Pass-It-On: The message of the Freedom Steps of 8 and 9 is, “as we turn to our collective Higher Power for the willingness to make amends, we release ourselves from the power of old resentments which have held us in bondage.” God, in his mercy, forgave us and saved us even in the depths of our control-madness and soul-sickness. Now we must become willing “from the heart” to forgive and be reconciled with others. We are blessed for being rescued before it was too late… I use the slogan, “Let It Begin With Me” to empower me with compassion and keep forgiving myself for harms done while sick and
suffering. In doing so, I become willing to forgive others with compassionate understanding that, “we are all victims of victims of an intergenerational family disease.” Longtimers reminds us, “we are the first beneficiaries when we choose to practice detachment, forgiveness and love.” Take care my friend and stay well. I love you. Happy to be alive, the rest is a bonus. Gratefully, Wassie’